you know that feeling

You know that feeling you get inside when nothing feels right? I have that a lot lately. I'm not entirely sure why just yet. Of course, me not feeling comfortable in my own body could have a lot to with it. I want to exercise everyday, but it hurts my feet too much. I want to run again, but I can barely do the stairs ten times in a row anymore. That was a goal to beat when I knew I'd be walking the stairs everyday. Just finished watching the season finale of PSYCH. Awesome show! Sad to Chief Karen Vick go. And he fired Buzz. What is with that!! I do not like this guy. He's kind of a butt.

Sunday

dont know what makes me cry.
have too much clutter for a clear thought.
feel more out of control than usual.
body working against me more often.
feet more painful than ever.
on a new journey, harder than imagined.
rarely smile just to smile.

day three

havent done much with the weather keeping me inside. only walked the steps, an everyday activity. i absolutely hate the rain, actually any cold weather. it makes my bones hurt and causes bouts of depression. hopefully the sun and clear skies will be back sooner than later. i need them bad.

started working out again

day two. pretty boring stuff. spent about thirty minutes in the yard digging up weed beds. an hour walking crazy circles in the house. and the last thirsty minutes with a heavier than needed cardio and core strengthening. like i said, pretty boring. have another hour of crazy eight walking waiting till after dinner. lets hope dinner is before nine o'clock tonight. last night, didn't finish dinner till after eight. now i have a slight headache, no need for PK, can wait till food. hopefully as the days go by, this stuff won't seem so boring. ha ha.