you stupid idiot

im so happy for you.

for your job

for your home

for your life

for your happiness

for your dog.

im so happy for you that life was so easy.

im so happy for you not having to struggle to find out if mommy or daddy love you.

so happy for you and all the days you get to blow money out your ass, for no apparent reason.

and here i sit, day after day, application after apllication, just hoping the damn phone will ring with McDonalds calling with a job offer.

so get back up on your horse, in your nice and warm office building and shut up. some of us werent handed everything in life, from education to cars, to phone plans. that one still makes me laugh. my favorite of yall is the one leaving a family dinner from grandmas, you and your sister didnt eat a thing, and ask for McD's, you still got it, didnt you??

and here weve been scraping pennies for daily essentials. how often to you count pennies?? i imagine not very often washing that damn dog with Herbal Essence shampoo/conditioner.

and now i have to apologize to anyone who might find offense in this. Im Sorry. sometimes though, it is very helpful and healthy to vent.

Drug-resistant malaria in Thailand threatens deadly global ’nightmare’

Drug-resistant malaria in Thailand threatens deadly global ’nightmare’

new home

oh boy! what a strange, festive few weeks it has been. moved into J+J's basement. nobody else around town would rent to us. that and every place else is way too expensive. i hat this place. fairborn is a bad place. this is where things die before they ever got the chance to live. at least tonight isnt all bad, Elf is on.

what about you or me??

i find it hard some days to let my mind run loose.
Americans aren't as good of hearing as most would like.
let all hell break loose then. im giving you my white flag.
after the last two weeks of shootings, that bastard in office cant stand fast enough.
yet he sits there bickering about taxes week after week.
he ignores the troops hes sending to war. do we really need positioning in Turkey?
is Syria that large a threat, or are we now afraid of Turkey??
Washington can KISS my pain ridden toes and call me queen, for all i care.
they dont care about us, normals.
yes that's right, i called us normals.
compared to Washington, what do you consider yourselves??
they make your hard earned money, they spend it like there's no tomorrow.
they waste you and your time.
good luck next years, with that cheap shot you, America, once again elected.
im running home (hopefully soon)

So much brain congestion

OMG my brain is doing some funny things. thought to myself the other day how different life could be if id just follow my feelings instead of arguing between my brain and my heart. yet some things aren't ever worth fixing. Josephine stopped by the other week. dont believe anymore it was just to say hello. i mean, would you, finding an unexpected friend request from father two days later?? NO! i dont appreciate you coming to check up and make sure just for his pleasure. if it means that much, he'd be fighting his way into my life, not sending secret sisters. and MILLIE. OMG. another blow to the heart. Emily, Millie. maybe its just me but i cant find the difference. I cant find the line that makes it okay that my name, so many years later is so close to hers. the child he left. the child he didn't want to keep. the child he was willing to forget all about. 21 years of service to the Marine Corps, followed by years of work, school and crap that kept him away from his kids. did he ever go searching? no, i dont believe so. i think after all that happened he would have said something to save us from the humiliation and disgust from his past. again, him not caring for his kids. guess that lesson should be quite obvious after learning about Kimberly the first time. oh dont you love family?!