today was the day

well at least im pretty sure it was somebody's birthday and yet i still cant remember. im not sure what to type this evening. my brain is moving faster than i can keep up with. my whole body hurts. i cant wait till next week when the body plain wont be so unbearable!! that might make things better. im not going anywhere in life. im not doing anything with anybody. im wasting away and for the first time it feels good. im comfortable. Kevin loves me and i think that's enough. i cant seem to find whats not there so... who knows! right... lol