So much brain congestion

OMG my brain is doing some funny things. thought to myself the other day how different life could be if id just follow my feelings instead of arguing between my brain and my heart. yet some things aren't ever worth fixing. Josephine stopped by the other week. dont believe anymore it was just to say hello. i mean, would you, finding an unexpected friend request from father two days later?? NO! i dont appreciate you coming to check up and make sure just for his pleasure. if it means that much, he'd be fighting his way into my life, not sending secret sisters. and MILLIE. OMG. another blow to the heart. Emily, Millie. maybe its just me but i cant find the difference. I cant find the line that makes it okay that my name, so many years later is so close to hers. the child he left. the child he didn't want to keep. the child he was willing to forget all about. 21 years of service to the Marine Corps, followed by years of work, school and crap that kept him away from his kids. did he ever go searching? no, i dont believe so. i think after all that happened he would have said something to save us from the humiliation and disgust from his past. again, him not caring for his kids. guess that lesson should be quite obvious after learning about Kimberly the first time. oh dont you love family?!