There's too much.

I don't understand this.
I don't yet know.
I have too many feelings that have no explanation. They all muddle together, like my blood.
It's all too confusing.

If I die young, bury me in Satin. Lay me down to a bed of lily's (roses are overstated when it comes to love). Meet me with the river, like the days of old. Send me away with the words of a Love Song.
Life isn't always what is expected. Well, I've had enough time here.  Love doesn't last forever. My life was not short. My life was plentiful, and amazing. At the same time it was disastrous, it was beautiful. That time it was meaningful, it was also THC-infused, and alcohol-induced.
That's the way of life this 2014 year.

With all the bad, there will come good. Before the best, come the worst. There are a million ways to state this simple idea. But most important, you make sure to ENJOY, even if it is only one day. Enjoy Life! Live your loudest at the end. Love the strongest until the days gone. Be yourself, love yourself, respect yourself. Show the world you are worth it! They won't know any better until they see what you're capable of.

Love. there will likely be no other greater reason for life than this.

Laugh. especially at yourself. it is important!

Explore. what ever looks interesting. here you will find life.

And never turn off the Country Radio. It may save your life one day. It does mine.

See ya soon!

at one point in everyones' life, they feel like the special one

but today, like the last six months. they have felt like 'advantage taken' from others. im not the doctor, the nurse, or the 'in-home help' most pay for. I am the girlfriend, the add-on, the extra. im not the daughter, the help, or the mean one. Im realistic. Ive seen life from the ugly side, and it aint pretty. Ive seen families torn apart over nothing, and everything. Ive been there at school, while they finalize their divorce, with no voice in the situation. Wouldn't we all like to be that voice, even just once?!

Im sorry I cant forget.
I will never be sorry for not forgiving people (even worse, parents) who dont (or worse cant) care enough for the lives they brought forth.

Ya'll made the stupidest decision that fateful day way back when. Now, I'm living with your consequences from that horrid choice.

Friday the Thirteenth cant come fast enough.

maybe then, that special feeling will return. death.