Tattoo Fridays

Writing like a newspaper can be fun at times. These are my favorite times. lol. So I got to thinking how much I resent so many people. If you were to ask me to list them, I couldnt give you a complete list. There are some Ive forgotten about. There are some I hate too much. And then there are those who havent crossed my mind enough for me to care anymore. I dont know what to do with all this resentment so on a night like tonight, we celebrate!!

Of course, anytime you sit at a table with friends and loved ones, with food and drink, that's a reason to celebrate. Friday spent with Kevin before work, kitties sleeping on the furniture, now I start to think of dinner and what goes good with Sausage and Rice Casserole.

I haven't been able to think of Millie. Every time she crosses my mind I crave a drink and a pill. Shes insulting me and doesn't even know it. I know its crazy to assume she was on his mind that day, but I cant rule it out. Not in a million years. Hes been nothing but a lying heartless bastard my entire life. How they think he would ever change I have no idea. I sometimes wish I had recorded the very moment he told me his true feelings. Maybe then it also wouldn't feel like a flickering memory. I don't know..... Toast to you, my stranger.

In my personal opinion

Marlena is a beautiful name. I dont think were going to be anywhere near those thoughts and ideas for a long while, but I enjoy that name. I also found out that I have yet another sister nobody knew about six years ago. Nobody heard of her ten years ago, and now her kids are referring to that heartless bastard as grandpa. I know I think I dont care, but Im greatly offended. Especially when it comes to Millie. Some stupid bitch! Im sorry but I cant help but remember those typed words, "this is the only way I knew you. By the name Millie'. What the hell was he thinking?! You know what I think he was thinking. I think he was thinking about her the very moment I was born. The very moment they asked for a name for this innocent baby girl he thought, 'Millie. Hmm.' How about Emily. I know it sounds stupid and completely unfounded, but that's just the kind of man he is.
And you cant convince me that she never crossed his mind. He clearly knew about her. Heres a thought, did he go looking for more illegitimate kids after Kim daddy remember me, precious Kim came along? Actually, I dont know who found who first there either. It doesn't matter. Fact: he had at-least three daughters even before Jennifer came along. Shes no longer daddy's baby girl. Shes daddy's number what four wife, tenth kid?
It was bad enough trying to remember how I reacted after finding about Jen, Richard and Bobby. Kim was a total disaster, and I think they planned it that way. Seriously, she just happened to come to town the same weekend I get severe surgery and am so doped up. Um yeah right. I don't care who the hell you are, you cant honestly expect your kids to respect you if all you've ever done is lie to them.
Richard is a heartless bastard. How he was able to father tens of gods know hundreds of bastard children I will never know. I simply feel exceptionally sorry for those of you who still want a relationship with this lying heap of snail shit. He doesn't care about you. I mean think about it. If he had any real feeling about fatherhood towards you, would he have left without a single word or sign? Would he have turned his back on you for all these 25+ years? No. A loving parent doesn't do that. A loving parent doesn't lie to you, minus the exception of Santa Clause. Stupid Church! A caring parent wouldn't stab you in the back. And that's exactly what hes done to every decade of his what 4 decade adult life. Hes a piece of shit with no one in mind but him and ironically that snobby whore, Kate? Kaytlin? Or was it your mother???

Tuesday Smoochday

Snow came down again overnight. Im so sick of cold weather. After the rain yesterday afternoon, the ice on the way to the library last night, this is what i woke up too. Im beginning to love Arizona more and more everyday.

And this below from the crazy winter storm we had a few weeks ago. The big branch on the front of this tree took a tumble. Im still not sure they even replaced the apartment sign that got beat up. Like my fork? lol

On to a rather undecisive Tuesday. The kitties are crazy as usual. Here, Little Sylvester goes crazy after a cat-nip Ronald McDonalds head.

He had great fun. At the same time, Big Sylvester was sleeping. Yet. across the room, on our computer desk, Spotticuss was on her way up to the window. lol. Big butt getting in everyones way.

Shes a precious thing. I still dont know what to do about life in itself. But everyday learning how these cats think, I find something new. I find something that yesterday I would have never thought of. It took me chasing Sylvester around the room after his nap to realize just how annoying he is. I know, I knew that already, but it was the first time yesterday. He was dear enough to wait till afternoon. Thats an accomplishment when I wake up so early.

Life has a way of letting you down. Keep your chins held high, your brains higher and blue waves will wash over you like oceans on a Mexican beach. Heres to our Mexican Beach.....

Bubbling things up

Its almost like Ive tried everything to change the way my mind thinks. Yet, there's always a craving for this really bad thing, pez. I want them more everyday. I want them when I drink. I want them when I smoke. I don't want to get them through a doctor. Does that fix my moral situation? I'm more than willing to leave all doctors out of this. And with no job, they're even less likely simply going to hand it over. lol. I'm just so tired of feeling sick and tired, and I know this can help. Damn shame!!!!

Yesterday Sucked

Although I have to admit it was one of the better ones. Especially now that Im not forced to celebrate some bitches birthday. But god, now I really do hate Kevin. Its like he has no idea of a future. How am I suppose to look forward in life when this ass munch wont push me to get off my ass. Sometimes I cant help it by wanting to leave. Theres just to much adulthood in life, and that sucks!! I mean we get eighteen years to fuck around and then only to spend the rest of some fifty plus years kissing ass.

Fridays with no sun

Sure the sun may have come out today, but it did not provide any damn heat. This upsets me. We got a new computer desk. Its working great. Now just waiting to pick up the other side table from Kev's parents. Evidently its an antique. Lol. I cant focus on any one thing right now. Its like my brain, this uncontrollable thing, wont leave overdrive. Had to light a few candles so if I zone out, theres something pretty and bright to steal my attention.

I think theyre working. My kitties are all sleeping and now theres nothing but dinner to plan.

Day One

Sitting her watching Sunny, thinking about tomorrow. Frankly, today is almost over, so no need to dwell. It may only be Wednesday, but that can be a bright day. The pain is taking over more quickly. I dont want doctors bullying me though. And ofcourse the kitties. You cant help but shower them with love, despite how annoying they get. Like today, Sylvester wasted no time causing trouble with the smaller ones. Im trying to find a new home for one of the boys but no ones interested. Poor kitties. Lol.

And this little guy, sleeping away all the troubles in the world. He loves cat nip time, which led to this nap. Ronald McDonald went swimming in the catnip jar.

Sylvester, the molester. lol. I know, terrible nickname, even for a kitty. But, I swear his favorite past time is tryin to mount Fluffy. Hes a sweetheart though. Always trying to catch a nap in the most unavailable spots.

And the Fluffy Princess, aka Spotticuss. Shes the most quiet of all animals Ive ever had. For whatever reason, she loves to snack on plastic. Plastic! lol. She also has a tendency to try and suffocate someone in their sleep. I mean, just look at that tail!!