Thanks to you and momma *

Thanks to you and momma, I always want to run.

Thanks to you and momma, I hate people everywhere (even without reason)

But then again, 

Thanks to you and momma, I dont trust anyone

Thanks to you and momma, Im afraid to let go completely

Thanks to you and momma, I dont properly appreciate the people in my life

Thanks to you and momma, somedays Im afraid to dream

Thanks to you and momma, I dont care about the innocence of life

Thanks to you and momma, Ive given up!

What is there to live for when your own parents dont care enough to love you unconditionally

Thanks to you and momma, Im nothing but a dumb fool.

All thanks to you and momma, and one fucked-up night in Mississippi.

Welcome Home!

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” B Marley

You and momma aint worth suffering for anymore.

Jealous

Well, that might not be the right word to use. Im just wanting more now. More than I think I cam handle. I want messy and uncontrollable. Is that crazy?? I want more normal, basically. But then I think of all that I would have to give up, and theres tears. Im not ready. I dont want to stop smoking or drinking. I like having fun our way. It makes sense for us. Yeah were in a deep shit hole but whatcha going to do?, right. hahaha. I hope one day Ill be able to say, ha! I did something to help. I made an actual contribution. Sometimes, I think hes angry with me because I dont work. But whatcha going to do? I kinda got screwed. It either sit here and be lousy or get the fuck out of Fairborn. I have no way to do that myself, so I stay. God damn it!! A million different other reasons not to take the next jump, off the very steep cliff, with no bottom for days. I mean years!! How scary is that...

Things can drive you crazy

Recently i have been having very unusual dreams, and they are starting to annoy me. I haven't dream't about an ex-boyfriend in years, and now $%^%$ wont stay out of my head. Its rather bothersome because of the context of the dreams. Twice already this month, and they are so vivid. Yeah, I miss the easier days, but who doesn't? this world sucks and its only getting worse. There are no 'real-good' people any more. With $%^%$, everything was easy and 'real-good', there was no pressure or anything. Now i wonder what could have been. What should have happened that night after work. Should i have been more nice and forthcoming? probably, but that's gone. now im dreaming of him, like hes it. Hes the guy. and after nearly three years with Kev yeah, im ready for a change, but of scenery not people. sure the people aspect would be nice to but i dont want to leave Kev behind. I want new places with Kev. Although these dreams leave something to wonder. Should i see what could be? Should i walk away and bury these dreams? Do I cross that line and potentially ruin what he already has? I dont even know what that is. Its so frustrating. I just hate that I wake up some mornings after these dreams, and want Purcey. Some days I even feel guilty waking up next to Kev, cause hes not my first thought, hes not my first anything. A change is coming and Im afraid I wont be ready. Even more frightening, Im afraid I wont want this one, this needed change. Somethings have to though, and soon. Im about to kill an SOB.

Columbine Massacre Anniversary: First-Ever, Student-Produced Documentary Aims to Help Still-Suffering Victims

Columbine Massacre Anniversary: First-Ever, Student-Produced Documentary Aims to Help Still-Suffering Victims: Sam Granillo remembers when, as a kid, he finally outsmarted his bigger and older brother. “He would chase me around the house,” Granillo says. “I would go into my room and slam the door, but I knew I couldn’t keep it shut because he could...

Doctors develop life-saving drugs from coral reefs

Doctors develop life-saving drugs from coral reefs

Ferdinand Porsche, sports car designer, dies

Ferdinand Porsche, sports car designer, dies