GOD, How many are you calling Home?

How many must you steal Home?
They are still needed here by their family!
Their Family needs them more than ever, and you steal them Home.

Yeah, they are happier, and pain-free. But their Family. Their Family hasn't had enough time to mourn John. How could you take Diane so soon? How could you take away an amazing Aunt, a beautiful and adorable Sister, and a caring and loving Daughter. How could you GOD.

You steal from families you put together (or so I was taught). You have the last word in where man/women spends ETERNITY.

I've experienced more Grace Family Funerals than I have Morales Family or even Brinkop/Swayzee Family. I find that unsettling!

How God, could you let this happen? And yes, I ask you, cause they still say grace at family gatherings even after Mom Grace has passed. They show respect. They show love. They understand, even though shes not here, there is still something to hold onto, and love.

2014 is turning out to be the suckiest year since 2001 (in my own personal life). January especially will never be the same with the Grace Family.

I'm Sorry. I'm sorry I cant offer more help. I'm sorry I cant find something to say that would remotely make a difference. I'm Sorry, Joyce, Amanda, Kevin, Jacob, Tom (and Family), Steve (and Family). I'm Sorry to all who knew these lovely souls.

I wish things were different.

this cant be happening

still not sure who knows, whos up and ready for a bad day, or who needs this info before the family is ready.
but this cant keep happening!!

One Week Later...

One Week Later, we're still trying to accept Johns death. It just does not seem REAL. Every morning, I think he's gone to work, but all his coats are still hanging there by the door. Its Weird!

I hope we find a new normal soon. I understand she'll be going through a lot, with Amanda over the next few days, but... Hmm.

We need new structure, new plans. Dinners, well all meals will need planned out and all so we understand where the day is going. This may all be to calm my brain, who know!! :)

but next week will be filled with lots of sitting at the table and filling in a schedule.  

HMM....

Oh Heavens, Im scared

Im scared all over again. Im in constant worry now, not knowing what to do, how to respond. Its all very confusing. And yes, Im feeling some anger over the situation. Some might say disrespectful, I call it part of the healing process. And IM SORRY! Im sorry there is nothing I can do right now. Im sorry I cant bring him back from GOD. Im SORRY. I dont know what else to say. Im lost in a confusing bubble of UNKNOWN, and it scares me!! all we have to offer each other right now is an open heart and a shoulder to cry on. And Im okay with being the shoulder/pillow that the family may need. Im okay with taking the tears and fears of all those who need to cry.


John Grace was an amazing man. John was a loving husband and father, a great brother and friend. He cared beyond his means, and made sure his family was taken care of. His love will spread well beyond his death.

We miss you beyond all words John. You were the world to some, the answer to others. And Im proud to have known you.

You will forever be loved. We cant miss you enough.

Please God, help this family through their loss and heartbreak. They need more blessings and help than can be imagined. John cant be replaced. They need love.....

Eight days in

And nothing exciting has happened. I take the back! Cougar Town premiered on TBS last night. That was pretty great. So already a week-plus into the New Year (2014) and there is no futures plan in the works. thinking this was the wrong way to wake up that first day. always have a plan or idea to begin with. so over the next two weeks (before February) write down a plan! put something down on paper! make something happen for you this year! Thirteen is so over! Fourteen is it!