never enough time

theres never enough time in the day to do what you really want. i want to run, be free, have free thoughts roam again. i miss my think out loud sessions. they were very very helpful when it came to clear my head. now im fearful of what someone might hear or say. now i dont want to let loose with anything. there are now too many ears listening in. that annoys, deprives and angers me. that makes me sad and tired. im so tired now, all the time. i want to sleep or drink all the time. i never want to leave the warmth of this house, which is also very annoying. and now, if i open my mouth there might come offensive words that piss someone off and then im homeless. ofcourse i could go look for help but the help i want is no longer close enough. anger boiling over unlike that bean soup Joyce is cooking for dinner. oh, bean soup? i get they like beans, but basic bean soup? hopefully theres more than just beans and ham bone fall offs. oh joy!

you stupid idiot

im so happy for you.

for your job

for your home

for your life

for your happiness

for your dog.

im so happy for you that life was so easy.

im so happy for you not having to struggle to find out if mommy or daddy love you.

so happy for you and all the days you get to blow money out your ass, for no apparent reason.

and here i sit, day after day, application after apllication, just hoping the damn phone will ring with McDonalds calling with a job offer.

so get back up on your horse, in your nice and warm office building and shut up. some of us werent handed everything in life, from education to cars, to phone plans. that one still makes me laugh. my favorite of yall is the one leaving a family dinner from grandmas, you and your sister didnt eat a thing, and ask for McD's, you still got it, didnt you??

and here weve been scraping pennies for daily essentials. how often to you count pennies?? i imagine not very often washing that damn dog with Herbal Essence shampoo/conditioner.

and now i have to apologize to anyone who might find offense in this. Im Sorry. sometimes though, it is very helpful and healthy to vent.

Drug-resistant malaria in Thailand threatens deadly global ’nightmare’

Drug-resistant malaria in Thailand threatens deadly global ’nightmare’

new home

oh boy! what a strange, festive few weeks it has been. moved into J+J's basement. nobody else around town would rent to us. that and every place else is way too expensive. i hat this place. fairborn is a bad place. this is where things die before they ever got the chance to live. at least tonight isnt all bad, Elf is on.

what about you or me??

i find it hard some days to let my mind run loose.
Americans aren't as good of hearing as most would like.
let all hell break loose then. im giving you my white flag.
after the last two weeks of shootings, that bastard in office cant stand fast enough.
yet he sits there bickering about taxes week after week.
he ignores the troops hes sending to war. do we really need positioning in Turkey?
is Syria that large a threat, or are we now afraid of Turkey??
Washington can KISS my pain ridden toes and call me queen, for all i care.
they dont care about us, normals.
yes that's right, i called us normals.
compared to Washington, what do you consider yourselves??
they make your hard earned money, they spend it like there's no tomorrow.
they waste you and your time.
good luck next years, with that cheap shot you, America, once again elected.
im running home (hopefully soon)